The Disconnected Life

"I'd love to do that..." "So why don't you?"

Image by Alexa from Pixabay

This post was written at the prompting of (the?)

School of the Unconformed

, to share some of our own unmachining stories, and boy have I got a lot of them. This may prompt some other articles in the future, who knows?

Living Unconformed Lives in the Digital Age: Share Your Story

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I don't use a smartphone. Let's just get that out of the way. I had been near the forefront of this digital trend since it began, owning the very first Android phone ever made, and upgrading it several times over the years. I preferred phones with physical keyboards when they were still available, and even optioned for a phone with a tablet dock that increased the screen size and usability. I've always pushed my technology to its absolute limits, getting as much as I can out of every CPU cycle and watt hour of battery.

So, moving away from that was a bit of a change. Being a practical sort, the first thing I realized was that all the devices and tools that I had combined into my phone now needed to be pulled back apart and individuated. The basic, no-frills flip phone I got had a pretty awful camera, so I found a pocket-sized point-and-shoot that took some impressive pictures. I liked to read ebooks on the by-then large screen of my phone, so I found an old e-reader with no Wi-Fi and loaded my library on to that. No more flashlight app, so I started carrying the Maglite I'd had since childhood. Oh, and I needed a paper calendar and notebook too, plus pens. Very soon, I had enough things to carry around in a rugged man-purse, and did so for many years, adding different useful bits as I thought of them.

Of course, some things couldn't be replaced, like the mindless idle and clicker games I had filled up my old phone with. Some of those apps I could carry over onto the laptop that I still had and used, but didn't carry around everywhere with me, and most of them I had to just learn to let go of entirely. That was when I realized I had not only replaced a suite of tools, but also of toys.

As children grow up, they transition from the more child-like desire for toys to the more adult-like desire for tools. My son went from wanting nothing in the world more than a new Hot Wheel(s) to more practical things, like pocket knives and first-aid kits. That was a major step forward in his development, but it seems like as a culture we've taken a major step backward. We use tools to accomplish goals, but we use toys just to entertain ourselves, with no extrinsic value or product other than the enjoyment. Every tool that a smartphone replaces can be un-replaced with a simpler alternative, but that incessant desire for entertainment can't be replaced so easily. It's taken me many years of not being able to check my emails every few minutes, having to write something down to look it up later instead of instantly reference it, and actually paying attention to the world around me, before I truly realized what sort of hold my smartphone had on me.

I don't go around sharing my condition with other people, unless I need to make a call or send a text in their presence. Every so often, someone at a store or service place will offer to send a link to my phone to make a payment or read a document, and I just give them my email address instead. Once, I went to a restaurant that claimed to have no paper menus; you got to (had to?) look it up on your phone. I pulled out my phone and flipped it open for emphasis, and the manager graciously printed one out for me. (Which was good, since otherwise I would have just told them all of my dietary requirements and made it their decision for once) So, it comes up sometimes. Most of the times I hear praise ("Wow, that's so cool," even once: "Blessed are the smartphone-less"), and usually also longing ("Oh, I wish I could do that").

Trust me, it's much easier than people seem to think. Take your phone out of your pocket when you're at home. Leave it on the table or somewhere central, but don't have it constantly attached to your body (for goodness' sake don't take it in the bathroom). When you go out somewhere, ask whoever you're going with if you can leave your phone at home and borrow theirs if you need to get a hold of someone urgently. (In a true emergency you can just ask the nearest 10-year-old to borrow their smartphone) Pick some simple tools to un-combine from your phone, like a notepad and pen. Instead of streaming music, listen to CDs or a record (everyone has those now since they're trendy, right?).

This change in my own habits and behaviors has also been a model for our family to follow overall. My children are 14 and 11 and still don't have smartphones, and won't until they're out of the house entirely. We limit screen time to one hour a week during the school year, and they don't have unsupervised access to an internet-capable device at any time. The devices they can access (an e-reader and a handheld game console) are completely offline, so no worry about them getting into anything they shouldn't. It also helps reinforce the boundary between toys and tools, since they don't just have unlimited access to a screen whenever they please. Our hope is that this will help them establish better technology habits in the future.

In general, it seems to me that people aren't just afraid to give up their tools, but to give up their toys as well. No one wants to have to give up something that brings them so much happiness (or perceived happiness), but rest easy knowing that it can be done. There are plenty of interesting, enjoyable things in the world that aren't at our fingertips, and are well worth the effort to reach for them.

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